The Cycles of Life

I feel like sophomore year's gone forever. Which it is. But now I feel like it. I flipped through what I've got of my Ac Dec scrapbook so far, which I haven't worked on for a month, and already I've forgotten the feeling of sophomore year, which I remembered looking through the scarpbook. I think I've changed in the past month, in a weird way. I have a feeling next year's going to be fun too, so I don't regret anything from last year. I mean, you shouldn't cry because it's over, you should smile because it happened, right? (Who am I asking? This webpage is nonexistant. Oh well, I like it here anyhow)

Life...goes on. Well, sometimes it doesn't. Hannah's friend drove off a cliff off of Ortega the other day, and now she's all sad. She was the last person to see him too, because they both drove up to San Francisco to see their other friend, and he drove off the cliff on purpose on the way back. I hope he's content now, and maybe he's with Agni's dad. And I hope Marie isn't there yet, even though we no longer communicate. But that does not mean I can't hope she's alive.

Jeez, I know too many depressed people. Thank god Nicole got over it years ago, and thank god again that Mulan didn't catch the SARS epidemic back then either.

And yet, there are things to be grateful for amist all this tragedy. All you have to do is tilt your head towards the shining sky above.

People from Irvine, Old & New

Why does it seem like, no matter what, the people I meet in Irvine are sad in some way or another? Back when I lived there, there was Marie. I hope she's alive and well, and I'm sorry didn't realize she was suicidal and try to help her.

In my SAT class, there's a girl named Alice, who's really nice and friendly, but I learned she used to be suicidal. She's ok now, and I couldn't have guessed she used to be depressed that way. I found out because she talked about it in the essay she wrote last week.

And then there's Hide. He's great at math, but for some reason, he can't do the same in writing, and he knows it, so he says it all the time, which is part of his problem. Mr. Andrew paired us up to work together to write a response to the question, "Do you think heredity or environment plays a greater role in shaping a person?" and I started by asking him what he thought. First, he said he thought heredity played a greater role, but he decided to write about environment because it would be easier to write about. I told him if he thought heredity played a greater role, he should write about it. So he changed his mind back to heredity, but then decided in the end to go with environment. I didn't care, so I went along with it; besides, I was suppose to help him improve his writing anyway.

I made Hide come up with examples, and somehow we got to talking about how our family influences us.
Hide: We I was little, I only got praise from my parents if I got a perfect score on something. Anything less was unappreciated, so if you ever have children, you should praise them for anything they can do.
Me: ...yeah.
I know, my response was totally stupid. But anyway, the way he said that was just sad. I really want to help him write better now, especially since he's a senior and he's taking the SATs before anyone else in the class. But I really don't know how to teach how I write. I usually have a quote or two from literature or from someone, I include a personal experience, and I refer back to my opening statement in the conclusion. The rest...just comes.

Then, after class, I went into another room to wait for my mom to pick me up, and a girl named Katherine was already there. She just started 7th grade at Vista Verde, which is a year round school, and she told me how she got put into these classes that are too hard for her and she doesn't want to take them, but her mom makes her. Katherine was really, really nice. I talked with her for a while about her classes and stuff, which seem so easy now, and she's just a brilliant kid. She dragged me to check out what movie the other kids were watching in the other room even though I didn't really care. It turned out it was Harry Potter, so then we stuck around and watch until I left. I hope I see her again.

Meanwhile, I've been getting 5s on all my SAT essays, and Mr. Andrew is not helping me bring it up. On Monday, he went around the class and asked everyone if we were putting in effort into the class. I said no, even though I am putting in effort. It's just that if I put my mind to it, I could do so much more, but realistically, it's summer and I don't have the time. Okay, those are excuses, I admit it. Then today, Mr. Andrew said that for the people who admitted they weren't putting effort, he wouldn't help us either. I talked to him about my essay, and he corrected some general stuff, but he didn't give any useful advice when I asked him how to bring it up to a 6 (which is the highest score).

I know, I have to change. Ugh. Right, here's what I'm going to do, because if don't write it down, I don't usually do it:
tomorrow: I have to do all of ch.3 for US, and volunteer at the library.
Sunday: Hopefully finished math, although I doubt I can do all of, and volunteer at the library again.
And sometime this weekend, I have to look over the SAT books my dad checked out for me and look at the rubrics and review the vocab we've been doing. The last two weeks, I got in the mid 1900s on both practice tests, and by the time I'm done with the course, I hope I can improve to 2240, which is what Harvard requires. I don't care if I go to Harvard, I just think that if 2240 is good enough for them, it should be good enough for everwhere else in the US.

Churchill

There was an SAT practice question I did in class today that reads: "Had Churchill sent planes to defend Coventry from the German air raid, the Nazis would have realized that their secret code had been broken by the Allies." We were all just looking at it like a regular SAT question until my teacher told us to consider it's meaning. And then...wow. Churchill must of been a great leader to have been able to sacrifice the city, when he knew it would be destroyed, for future information from the Nazis. I don't think I could do that.

Then again, according to Corbett, Churchill was drunk his whole life. Still, he's an admirable person if he can be drunk and lead a country to victory. I wanna be like that! Haha, only I wouldn't be drunk, I'd be crazy. @.@

In class, we were talking about good writing techniques, and one of the guys, Kevin, pointed out that the length of an essay should be like a chick's skirt--long enough to cover the essentials, but short enough to keep it interesting. That was totally chauvinistic, but I think it's funny...and oddly enough, true.

We also played Squiggle, this game where one person draws a squiggly line and a second person makes something out of it. It was quite amusing; it came up after Mr. Andrew illustrated dependent clauses by drawing what looked like two mesas and a sunrise.

Oh yeah, and I messed up and walked to the library and back today, with Tony in tow. I thought I was suppose to tutor, but Rachel called both my cell and home at 9, and I didn't check my messages before I left. Stupid stupid. I am tired. Walking 1.5 miles to the library and 1.5 back up the hill isn't fun. I need some sugar.

The California Sun Sucks

It's too hot. I can't sleep at night, and I sweat all day just by sitting on my butt.

I just went to the library to volunteer with Rose and we killed some math problems. Mike showed up too and scared us--he didn't say anything when he came up to our table, and it was 21 seconds before I noticed him (he was timing us). We got half a page of matrices done! And Rose and I got some trig stuff done too, so that was good. I hope I don't have to have everything on a separate piece of paper...although it would make my work so much easier to read if it was. I'm considering copying everything just for convienience.

This morning, Dad bought me 24 notebooks. They were cheap at Staples. If you want a notebook, call me.

I'm hoping to do all the AP US homework before Friday...which means I have to start tomorrow. The plus side is that I have to take notes, so I can find a use for one of my 24 new notebooks. I don't think AP US will be as hard as Euro. Smith's grading system is totally different, so we won't have to compete with each other, for one thing. And most people have already gotten the experience of an AP class if they took Euro.

Meanwhile, I think I'm taking Physics next year, at least for the first week or something. If it gets too hard though, I think I'll switch to Bio or Enviro. It's still subject to change, but I should probably give Physics a try before I give up on it.

Me, Denice, Akshar, Serena, and some others wanna start a school newspaper. We need to talk to Corbett because he use to run the Capo paper. Hopefully Garrity will consent to be our advisor, he's the best shot we have, although Little could also be considered.

Nebulous...-ness

Nebulous means vague; it's an SAT word. So, as the titles states, I am going to be vague. What should one do if one keeps being asked ordinary questions (ie: is that your sister?) and the one being asked the question can only think of mundane, terse (note the usage of more SAT words), answers that are kind of one-sided, even though one has considered other options (but it's not like one can elaborate if one doesn't have a sister), but rejected them beforehand and wants to be honest to the one who proposed the question, but does not want to seem rude either?

Okay...I just felt like Jack Sparrow saying all that.

Question #2: What should one do if one is unsure anyone will reply to question 1 and is clueless to who reads this webpage and would really like to find out?

In complete conciseness (the antonym of nebulous), if you're from Random, or if you aren't, tell me if you're reading this if you can comment, and if you can't comment, e-mail me, and if G-mail is down, keep trying til it works. I need a web tracker, and I need an answer to Question 1, and that is the least you can do if you're stalking me. Please.

Hypothetical Situation

Actually, this isn't a hypothetical situation, it was real. But I feel like calling it hypothetical for the sake of teenage perversity (that's an SAT word).

Right, so I took my summer math homework packet to Ivy today, and I left it on my desk. During class, we switched some seats around because we were paired to work in groups. Now, there's this guy in my class who sits down in my desk, which I have vaccated. Let's call him Person X. X starts reading the top page of instructions on my math packet, and he KNOWS I'm watching him, but keeps on reading. Really, I don't mind, except for the fact that in the first line of the instructions, it says, "Congrats on passing AP Stats!" but even that doesn't bother me much.

Then, after class:
X: *comes up to me* Are you going into the IB program?
Me: No. I don't see the point.
X: *is confused*
Me: They're the same classes as the AP ones, so it's the same thing.
X: No it's not; IB is a whole program, where there are things AP doesn't have.
Me: But you don't actually have to be in IB to complete all the units of the IB program, you can do all that on your own.
X: Oh, okay. So you aren't taking IB math analysis next year?
Me: No, I'm taking Math Analysis Honors, and then BC Calc senior year.
X: Oh, okay.

That was pretty much it, but I feel kind of bad because I think I was being a tad too harsh. I practically yelled in his face that IB was pointless, and I don't think I gave him much of a chance to express his own opinion. I know what's done is done, and I can't go back, but I still feel bad. Ah well.

Ahhh...

Some time to write in peace. Well, at least, it's relatively peaceful right now, if you don't count the fact that the Pacific Hills gardeners are trimming the trees in the greenbelt right in front of my backyard and making a racket, which, in turn, is what made Tony turn on the volume of the television right outside of the computer room so he can hear what he's watching.

Anyway, I was cleaning my room, but then I decided to give up. I'll finish later. Yesterday, I went to Denice's b-day party and had a lot of fun. My mom got confused on the way there. ^^ I when we finally got there, I talked with Keekee, Karla, Elaine, Cinny, Serena, and tried to kill Akshar multiple times. He deserved it because he made me cry:
Akshar: The bonfire smells like India.
Me: *goes up and stand in front of the bonfire and breathes*
The bonfire: *spews out smoke in my direction*
Smoke: *cruelly gets into my eyes*
My eyes: *start tearing up and hurt like crazzzy*
...So if someone ever tells you smell a bonfire, don't do it. I actually had tears halfway down my cheeks before I attacked Akshar.

Before that, I ate dinner with everyone, and then made a "tv show" and two "commercials" with Serena, Rose, Karla, Cinny, and Abbra. Out tv show was called "Mission Viejo, the REAL OC" even though we were in Dana Point. Then we advertised "Rose's Potion," which, when taken, makes the guy of your choice fall for you. Our second commercial had something to do with hair (the kind that grows from your head ><). All of this was on Akshar's camera, I hope he doesn't get scared when he sees it. I think I've scarred him enough.

At the end, we played Truth or Dare. Dan B ran into the ocean and stayed there for ever and scared everyone. All we could see of him from the shore was a tiny white pinprick, and it looked like he was being tossed around in the waves. Oh yeah, Elaine drew the most amazing pictures in the sand, it sucked that we couldn't preserve them. For a truth, Serena told the Noah story, for another dare, Dan sang the Barney song to another group of bonfire people, and Rose told everyone about Christopher, this hot guy she met while volunteering at the library. Then her and a bunch of other people started talking about guys, which got really boring really fast. I went on a walk with Karla and we were looking at the ocean when Elaine and Kylie crept up behind us and scared the shit out of me.

I got a ride home from Abbra's dad; so did Rose. The whole way back, Abbra and Rose were chattering about how they're independent, liberated women and how they should be able to ask guys out. I don't think either of them are over Craig, and Rose definately still likes Dan. Both don't like Michele; I don't blame her and Craig for showing up 4 hours late. Who'd want to spend 5 hours around people wanting to break you up?

Going to more important matters, my mom took Snow to the vet yesterday because we realized that her infection wasn't gone. She stayed at the vet's last night. They operated on her in two places to get the infection out. Pooooor bunny. = ( Now she's back, but she isn't allowed outside of her cage for two weeks, and she has to take medicine. I hope she never gets sick again.

I'm going to go wash my hair before I go to my SAT class. It still smells like the ocean.

Blogthings

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I just *had* to take this one. I dunno why, but I've licked Machivelli since the Ac Dec competition first semester, and there was that essay on him I couldn't do. He sticks out in my mind now.

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead... But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself. You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place. You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

Haha, life coach? What's that?



The guy who teaches math at my SAT class is a total math geek. ^^ I told him I wanted to be a writer and he got all confused, it was kind of funny. I like him, he's really smart, although I don't want to be that smart about math. It's a bit creepy how much he knows, and he's pretty young too. *shudder*

Hug me?

I think I have writer's block. I was thinking of how to start writing here, and I couldn't do it. Damn. I got a fortune cookie today though, and it told me "Patience is your alley. Don't worry!" And it really did spell "ally" as "alley." I'm not sure if I believe in God. I don't not believe in a higher being, I think supernatural beings might exist. But there's just been such a series of events in my life that it all just seems kind of too good to be coincidental.

It all started with me being Chinese, I think, and learning English as a second language. In second grade, my mom made me read a lot to improve my English. That caused me to like reading, and I read a ton over the next couple years. Third grade was when I really wanted to become a writer, but I never really wrote anything. Then...I met Marie in Irvine, and she introduced me to the Internet, which is how I found FictionPress. And that led to me actually writing. Then I wanted to be a psychologist for like, two years, but I trashed that idea after trying to take physics last year. And then...I found out I live close to one of the top writing schools in the country. UC Irvine. And it didn't even register that I wanted to be a writer when Corbett said that. I was just like, "Oh, okay." Then I started seriously considering what career options I have, and I realized, I don't really have any except in area related to English. Then I regained my love for writing through Ac Dec, I think. It was that speech I wrote about my rabbits. And still, I can't think of anything else I want to be. I don't care if I don't make a lot of money; that's not the point.

I don't even know why I said all that. Oh yeah, so here, all this stuff has happened, and it seems...like it's just been planned. I hate the thought of destiny, and I really don't believe in it. But...like, what if?

Anyway, all that isn't why I came here in the first place. I came cuz I was irritated with my dad. He checked out some SAT books from the library he wanted me to study, and I was mad because I'm already taking the class, and honestly, studying your ass off isn't going to help with the SAT, because it doesn't test what you know, it tests your SKILL. Your WISDOM. How good you are at figuring out the answer BASED OFF OF what you know. That's TOTALLY different from a simple "do you know the answer or not" type of question. You're never going to KNOW, and no matter how much you study, you're never going to be ready. That's the beauty of these tests. They teach you more about life than anything else, don't they? I mean, in 50 years, I won't know a thing about European history anymore, but I'll still have some of the self confidence I got from that class.

But back to the subject. I don't wanna study any more over the summer. I don't care if I sound whinny. I need a break.

I need to do my Algebra homework tomorrow for school becaust it's bugging me that I haven't started. Argh. I like Algebra. In a way, math is beautiful too.

Poor Snowwy

I'm so tired. I haven't felt this drained since before AP exams. Hell, it's been so long that I've forgotten how it feels. On Saturday, I had my birthday party at the Spectrum and saw Pirates 2 and walked around a couple of hours afterwards. I got Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones with a gift card I've had since Christmas 2004. o_o I've been wanting to read that book forever. It was good, I want to see Miyazaki's movie now. I know it'll be different, but I still expect it to be good. It's a very good story, and I like all the characters. I can tolerate movies made from books after I watched the two Romeo and Juliet movies Garrity showed in 9th grade if I think about the story and what's essential in it to a film, which is a very different medium.

Pirates 2 was entertaining...but not great. I read some critics of the first one back when it first came out, and some people made good points--some parts of Pirates 1 were pointless, especially the duel between Jack Sparrow and the guy who took the Black Pearl. (I cannot think of his name right now. The guy with the monkey and apples.) It was pointless because neither of them could die, thus, neither one could win. Despite that flaw though, it was still a good film. I think Pirates 2 had a lot more pointlessness in it that you just couldn't look over as much. I think the incorporation of the kraken and Davy Jones was good, although I didn't really like his character. They should've explained what a kraken was though; I don't think most people got it. It's a legendary creature, like a phonix (is that spelled right?), and it dwells in the oceans. It eats sailors. That's really all I know, and I only know from reading stuff. Also, the whole deal with Davy Jones' heart and all is pretty farfetched, and I don't get how Norrington got it in the end, but oh well. An explaination would just make it more tiresome. Plus, I don't see why they had to name Davy Jones' ship the Flying Dutchman. The legend of the Flying Dutchman is totally different. All in all, it was alright. It's just because they didn't get some of the legendary stuff right that bugs me. People should read more.

Last night, Snow got an infection. She somehow got herself a wound a week or so ago, and yesterday, somehow, it opened up and started bleeding. I only noticed at about 10 at night. My parents came, and after I caught her, they looked at the wound and noticed there was a lump in it. They were planning to take her to a vet today to get her surgery for it to be removed, but that scared the heck out of me. Then, I got even more scared when my dad started trying to get the lump in the wound out himself. I had to hold Snow while my mom kept her calm by petting her. Dad squeezed around the wound until the lump came out, and it turned out to be a bug. It was still alive. I freaked out, of course. After Dad got that got, he continued to squeeze out the other infectious stuff in her wound. Then they put antibiotics on it and my mom and I had to make a cone for her head so that she wouldn't lick it. We stayed up past midnight doing this. Finally, after we had Snow settled, my parents decided not to let her out of her cage until the wound heals completely. Poor Snowwy.

I tutored Rachel this morning. She hates learning. I was honestly too tired from dealing with Snow last night to be too strict. She has a lot of trouble with negatives and retaining information. She does it right only when I make her. I have to work on being a lot harder and her if she's going to learn anything. I guess I'm glad I learned how to pay attention for long periods of times and how to organinzing my mind when I was littler. A lot of it just came from reading.

My SAT class is going pretty well. I like it more than I thought I would. I don't mind learning new words and strategic thinking. It's really just organinzing my mind more. So far, I think I can handle the essay part of the test the best, and that just comes from reading a lot and from all the training from Corbett to think, organize, and write essays damn fast. Other stuff I really do have to work on, but I think I can do it. It's not hard to learn new words, especially if I think of them in ways that I know already. I'm having trouble with grammar, though. That will just take more practice and spotting the errors. Sentence corrections I'm okay on. Even if I don't understand why something should be repharased as the answer is, I can kind of feel which answer simply sounds the most correct. Reading comprehension is kind of rocky for me though. Normally, I'd read a passage before I answer any of the questions, but I've realized it's pointless to do that if I can answer them without reading the whole thing. So I have to work on deciding what I should read an what I don't have to, which isn't easy to decide. I'm too used to reading whole passages rather than parts, I think. Math, I haven't worked on much. I dread doing algebra 2 and geometry review, but as long as I think of it in a way that relates to language, I think I can deal. Graphs are really quite poetic, you know.

I am exhausted, but I can't go to sleep yet. It's only 8:23.

Oh yeah, I read Tamora Pierce's The Will of the Empress. It's pretty good. I wonder if there will be other Circle of Magic books coming out; it kind of seems like that one was pretty resolving. I'll check her website.

Go France!

France is still in the running for the World Cup. (I think) I wonder when the end is? I've never watched any of the games, I just get the news from Google or from people who do watch it.

I am slightly annoyed at the moment because my dad wants me to do more studying for the SATs. Jeez, they aren't that important. I mean, if you're going to let the meaning of your existence depend on a stupid number, you have deep, deep issues. There are a lot more important things. Besides, I won't get any studying done when I'm in summer-mode anyway. The closer I actually get to the deadline, the more serious I will be. Thus, I am putting off studying the vocab I should be studying for my test tomorrow. I can wait a few more hours before I start going through 240 words. ^^ I've come up with funny sentences for all of them. I've related a lot of words to either Yu-Gi-Oh or Harry Potter, which I what I know best. Which, yeah, is kind of sad, but Corbett once told me to work with what I know best, and I think Corbett's advice is trustworthy. So I'll just have to think of YGO or HP, and I'll be fine. ^^

Not much else to say. I spent the 4th in Ladera Ranch with Denice and her family, Karla, and Kylie. 'Twas fun. I learn Crazy 8s, and we kind of taught Kylie Hearts. Oh yeah, we also got a bunch of free stuff from the booths, haha. And the fireworks were pretty, of course. ^_^

AP Results!

I got them in the mail today. My dad came into my room and said, "Your AP results are here." I jumped a foot and yelled, "WHAT?! ALREADY?!" because I wasn't expecting them so early in July. When I saw them I started crying and my dad was all like, "What's wrong?"
Me: "I did better than I expected"
Dad: "That's no reason to cry"
Me: *keeps crying*

So here they are:
Art History: 4
European History: 5
Statistics: 4

YAY! I'm sooo surprised I did so well in Stats. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever have a test as hard as that one. I just have to keep telling myself this until the SATs are over. ^_~ I'm also surprised I didn't do better in art history. That was the easiet of my exams. Then again, I didn't study half as hard for that test as I did for Euro or Stats. I think, all in all, I got what I deserved. ^_^