Heart of Darkness & SAT Class

Okay, so I was in a really profound mood to write here earlier, but I just wrote my third (and final!) essay for Heart of Darkness, and I'm totally outta it. Anyway, the essays were so much far to write than I anticipated. First of all, there's a word limit of 200-300 words, and the one I just wrote is 376. Need to do some MAJOR editing. In my SAT class, we worked on rephrasing long sentences to make them more concise. I can do it, but it takes a ton of effort and hard thinking. I know it doesn't sound like it, but it really does. So I'll have to do that later. Secondly, the questions are designed so that not only do you have to read the text, you have to think! Wow, what a surprise! (sarcasm implied) It's just that I didn't think I'd have to think so much. Sparknotes helped a bit, and yeah, I'm amidting I use that site. But even if you read Sparknotes, you still have to pull the essay together yourself. Hmm, I wonder how many people will drop the class withing the first two weeks. I mean, just the summer homework requires profound thinking, and we have all summer to do it.

There's a wonderful quote from Shaman King Matt pointed out on Random: "If you knew the answer, that would only be knowledge. Wisdom, on the other hand, is the ability to create something from nothing..." In other words, if you don't know how to do something, you've got to figure it out based on what you DO know. I remember Corbett yelled that at my class, like, two days before the frikkin' exam. People oughta listen to him more, especially if what he's saying comes up in good manga. ^^ Anyway, my point? Writing essays is exactly like that. You're given a blank piece of paper, and on that sheet, you've got to CREATE something. And it can't just be anything, it's got to have insight, and it's got to contain some form of beauty or truth ("truth is beauty; beauty truth...") because it's an art. In a lot of ways, art shows the truth.

I've changed a lot this summer. I ranted about that over the last 10-ish pages of Nina's notebook. Good thing you are going to read it, 9a. It's really funny how some people can write things so much better than say them. Like, even if I'm on the phone with Nina or Denice, I can't say a lot of things. It's like a combination of a lack of words and a lack of courage. To truly communicate, the other person's got to FEEL what you're feeling, and speaking for me just doesn't do that.

So...how have I changed? I've learned to love a lot more. Not neccessarily sexual love, but I think I'm closer to my friends, and in a way, that makes me closer to myself. Because I think some of my friends know me better than I do. That's scarey and reassuring at the same time. I've learned to be a lot more forgiving. Of my parents and their problems, of myself, of other people. I gave Kevin my e-mail, and if I chat with him again after Friday, when the SAT class ends, I'll ask him to say hi to Marie for me. I'm not sure if we can go back to being friends, but I still want her to be happy.

It's kind of sad that the people in my SAT class has bonded right before it's over. I told Alice "Better late than never," but I don't truly believe it. I do wish we'd bonded earlier. Class would've been so much funner. The way we were today, you'd think we'd been friends for longer than two months. Well, not friends, classmates. I think we've finally become friends today. I brought in the cookies Nina and I made. Diane and Alice tried them yesterday, and both admitted they were okay. Kevin was brave enough to try them, even though Diane said they tasted like bacon and I told him the baking soda expired in 2004. Funny conversation:
Me: Try a cookie! You won't die unless if Diane poisoned them!
Kevin: *grabs one* These are...really flat.
Me: *glare* Have you ever tried baking?
Kevin: Yeah, and the cookies rose!
Everyone: Ooooh
Kevin: *eats cookie* ...Hey these aren't bad!
Everyone, including me: Oooooh

I'm definately still talking to Alice after the class ends. We've had way too much fun passing notes in class. And I'd like to keep in touch with Diane, even though she lives in Canada. Speaking of which, I've got to e-mail K-lee. Haven't heard from her in a while. I hope I can tell Kevin to say hi to Marie for me, and I hope he really does. He's a cool guy anyway. Ming, I don't know. He's got a really diabolical laugh that's pretty funny. It's better than Karla's evil laugh! I probably won't talk to Hide again. That kind of makes me sad, it'd be fun to keep in touch with everyone. I guess I'll hope he goes to USC and becomes a film director. Haha, if he ever becomes famous, I'll be all like, "I knew that kid in high school!"