A Bitch on Life

TT_TT I don't think I did well on my English quiz today. I wouldn't be obsessing over this except I've done some approximate calculations and I absolutely NEED 100% on everything for my grade to go up to 90%. It is currently 85.39%, without the vocab words I just turned in, and without the quiz.

The quiz wasn't hard, I guess, but it was detailed. I read Act II of The House of Bernarda Alba like I was suppose to, but I couldn't remember ALL the details. And I do read closely, but still, to have gotten everything right on that quiz, you would've had to memorize everything. That's unfair, but there's no way Stender will change anything. There were 10 questions. I think I missed four. TT_TT

I calculated what my grade would be if I got 5/10 on the quiz (because I'm pessimistic like that) and 25/25 on the vocab (because I think that's what I deserve, given how much time I've spent on it this week). It's still be 85%, which, I suppose, is much better than, say, 84%. But since the end of the 6-week-progress report is TOMORROW, I was really hoping to raise it to an 86%, and then 87% before winter break started so I'd have a B+ over winter break, and then I'd have to bump it up a bit more before finals, and then I'll have to ace the English final.

Oh god, I make myself feel anxious just thinking about this.

To make matters worse, I have to play at the Saddleback concert tonight and I have a math test first thing tomorrow morning.

I need an A in English I need an A in English I need an A in English. Maybe if I say this enough times, it'll happen.

"Those who do not learn history are condemned to repeat it"

I think I'm a decent history student (okay, so I'm blowing off my APUSH notes, but besides that), but somewhat, I never learn anyway.

So after dragging my dad to Borders the other day, I looked at this AP review book (for LANGUAGE and composition) and it looked really good, so I went home, found it on amazon, and ordered it through my dad's account. I even made sure it was by the same author, even though it was an older edition. Just now, my dad came to double check I had the book I wanted...and it turns out I accidentally ordered the LITERATURE and composition one.

Oops.

So I told him to quickly cancel the order, which he did, and then I looked up the Lang & Comp book, the right one I wanted. I found one by the same publisher (Kaplan) that came out in '05, but it didn't have the name of the author who wrote the one at Borders on the front. It did, however, list her under "special contributions:" on the copyright page, so I ordered that one. I looked at the table of contents, too, and it listed all the same things as the one in Borders did, so I'm taking the chance that it's the same one. Either way, any of the practice tests will help, and it's by the same publisher, so I'm hoping they aren't too different. And the AP exam doesn't change much, as Kucera used to say. (Oooh, speaking of her, I have to pay her $35 for my entertainment book. Must drop by tomorrow.)

This is totally unrelated, but I feel like telling it: I went to the vending machine at lunch today to get Chex mix, because I was hungry (to be redundant), but when I pressed the button, it said to make another selection. So, not because I really wanted them, but beacuse the machine already had my dollar, I pressed the buttons for hot cheetos. I waited a moment, but when the ball didn't fall down, I turned to go, thinking, "this sucks." But right as I took my first step back to The Tree, I hear a "thump," so I turned back around, and there are not one, but two bags of hot cheetos in the bottom pouch of the vending machine, waiting for me to pick them up. Can we interpret this as a sign of something?

someday i want to coin something like this

"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."

"I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.
An elephant's faithful, one hundred percent."

- Dr. Seuss

...meanwhile, i'll get back to my diction assignment.

we're all geniuses in ap physics

while going over homework in class:

homework question: what is the centripetal force that keeps the earth moving around the sun?
brandon parks: god!
class: [lighthearted laughter]

btw, dictionary.com says that the word "geniuses" should be used to describe 2,3, or 8 geniuses, but "genii" describes 6,7, or 9 geniuses. who the hell comes up with these things?

diction craziness

am working on eng vocab assignment. am having hard time choosing some of the words. maybe tutoring for the next hour will clear my head. gaaah.

Happy Turkey Day

I won't be here tomorrow or the next day because I'm going to Mamooth, so I'll say Happy Thanksgiving right now. ^_^

something's dreadfully wrong with me

okay, i am like, caught up in the BLONDEST moment of my life. (no offense to blondes.) i just realized i don't know what english class i'm in. okay, okay, so i know it has something to do with composition, because that's all we ever talk about in class. but i don't know the name of the course. how did this revelation come about?

well, to improve my horrific english grade, i decided to check out some ap review books from the library. i logged onto one of the computers, typed "ap composition" into the search bar, found two review books in the adult non-fiction section, checked them out, and came home, whereupon i opened the review book by r.e.a., and instead of finding passages on diction and syntax and mackarels of that stuff, i found stuff about literature. which made me look at the title of the book again, which turned out to have "ap literature & composition" blaring in my face.

so...now i'm confused. am i in ap lit? i don't think so; i think that's a 12th grade class. so...should i get another book? i dunno, the r.e.a. one seems to have some material revelent to whatever it is stender keeps trying to drill into our heads.

i need to have a heart-to-heart with mrs. ondrayas, my guidance counselor.

*sniff*

This story just made me cry. I am finally beginning to understand why people like Naruto; why I have continued reading Naruto fanfics ever since I turned to FF.Net in those hecktic pre-AP-exams-weeks last April. Nevermind that I know nothing of the actual story--I've realized I don't need to know of everything all the time. Take today at dinner:
Me (to Mom): I think I did well on my physics quiz. : )
Mom: Oh, so do you understand everything now? (I was having trouble with last night's homework.)
Me: Well, no, but I think I did well on the quiz. : )

Grades, con't

So I got B's on both my English essays. (43/50 and 41/50) And I have a quiz tomorrow on A Doll's House, which we're reading in class. Stender went over stuff I can do to improve my writing, which I get. Maybe I'll talk about them later, I'm in the middle of studying for tomorrow's quiz. What I really need though, is more practice with timed writings and writing good essays. Need to figure out a way to work on that.

I've been going over stuff for A Doll's House. I get the plot and I think I get the symbolism and some of the themes. I understand why it was "revolutionary." Victorian women didn't walk out on their husbands in those days.

What I need to know more of is feminism. Stender told us to look it up last week, and I read that it was the belief women should be socially, politcally, and economically equal to men, but he said it was more than that. Must get back to reviewing.

Grades

I am irritated. After all the worked I did yesterday, Smith EFFING POSTPONED the APUSH test. It is now NEXT WEEK. That's why I'm blowing off the notes I should be doing tonight. >.<

I'm also meeting with Stender during tutorial tomorrow, and I am freaked out!!!!! AHHHH! Okay, so my grade is a B, which is infinitely better than the C+ it sunk down to after Stender gave back the summer homework, but he hasn't given back our Douglass papers yet, and that was worth 50 points (OMG!!!!) and I'm getting it back tomorrow when I talk to him, and I'm scared out of my wits that I did poorly on that and it will drop my grade again!!!!!!! *runs around screaming hysterically*

Then, on Wednesday, I'm getting back the physics test I finished today. Thank god those are curved, but I will be infinitely disappointed if I didn't get a B or better; I killed myself studying for that.

On the bright side, I kicked ass on the math test from two weeks ago (+150/140!!!) and the quiz (+95/95!!!) from last week. My grade has gone up a full 7% thanks to those. So at least I've gotten my A in math back. Whew. (By the way though, I really don't think something worth 95 points can be legally called a quiz. Anything worth more than 25 points and can effectively damage your grade should be a TEST.)

Procrastinators of the world unite! ...tomorrow

*irate sigh* I should really really really do my history homework. Yeah, the notes and terms I completely blew off last week (...and the week before). I have a test on Thursday, and I just counted all the pages I still have to read. 50. And since I fell asleep studying for physics Monday night, I haven't started my terms either. For all Smith cares, I could wait till Wednesday night to start reading, but I have to do the terms tonight because my study group needs them, and I can let myself down (well, actually, I can't, but let's just say I can), but I can't let them down. And besides, I am going to need all day tomorrow if I want to takes notes to digest everything I'm reading.

So why am I still here? Ugh, I dunno. I disgust myself sometimes.

But while I am here, I want to say I got two much-needed new pairs of jeans today. I hate how I have to try on half the jeans at Kohls to find two that fit, but getting those two perfect pairs at the end is so worth the time. :) I can't help it; I love new jeans. (The transcendentalists whom I should be studying right now would be disgusted with me, but who cares? They're dead. ;) )

Abusing my Free Time

Second day of break. Once again, I haven't done anything productive. It feels like heaven to sit here in the mellow atmosphere alone at home. Maybe too mellow, because I can't think of anything I want to say. Or rather, I do know stuff I could say, but I don't want to muddle through those thoughts right now. So I'll just say Happy Vetrans Day. Millions of soldiers were killed in WWI; we get a holiday. I love American logic.

Invertible Matrices

Thought I'd come back to say that I had the brilliant idea to look up was a matrix with an inverse is called. Turns out a matrix with an inverse IS said to be invertible. YES!!! Unfortunately, a matrix that does not have an inverse is said to be singular or degenerate. Schubert had better have a good explaination as to why she expected us to know that. Grrr.

Professional Growth Day

Have today off school because it's Professional Growth Day. Can there be a lamer name for a holiday?

Have not done anything all day. ^_^

Need to finish physics test Mon., just the lab part. First two parts were not horrible. Realized made one mistake from test yesterday last night. Question was tricky. Should have realized weight component in x-direction on 6 kg box was less than weight component in y-direction of 4 kg box, which would make the 6kg box be pulled by the 4 kg box. But oh well. Did realized why a feather and penny fall at same acc. in a vaccuum. That was a tricky question too.

Math quiz was not horrible. Had to guess on 2 questions:
1) If a square matrix has an inverse, it is said to be ______.
2) If a square matrix does not have an inverse, it is said to be _____.
Swear Schubert never, ever even mentioned this. Was not anywhere in the book either. Put down "invertable" for first question and "uninvertable" for second. x_X Will be pissed if am dinged any more than 5 pts for those.

So Much for Studying

Should be studying for physics. Have a TEST on Wednesday. Have not done anything all day. Do not understand what Mme H wants for francais. Do not want to untangle hidden meanings from Grapes of Wrath for English. Accidentally completed APUSH notes Wednesday last week. Simply do not want to face physics at all. Will probably end up calling Stephen for help on lab tomorrow, and will consequently feel bad for bothering him. Currently feel worse for going to Agni's party, giving her a bottle of sparkly lotion priced $12 at Bath and Body Works, and finding out the belt in the bag of party favors was $42, the perfume was $10, and there was an additional scarf and earings. Need new life.