Getting back up

You know how you're suppose to get right back on a horse if you fall off? I've realized I'm really bad at that (metaphorically speaking). Turns got I got a C on my physics test. I started a notebook I can record extraneous physics stuff in. Just stuff I think will be worth knowing. And my mom says I need to do more practice, which I will be sure to do before the next test. And I will not cram and stress out the night before. Anytime before that is okay, just not the night before.

The stupid thing about all of this is, I know I can do it all. I know I should have. I had the foresight to start studying a couple days before my APUSH test last week, and I did really well on that (57/58 with the curve). I just don't have that drive when it comes to physics. It's partly because I honestly don't get half the stuff when I'm on my own. When Johnson does it in class, or when Brian or Eric explain it to me, I can kind of grasp it, but when I'm alone, I'm completely lost. I guess that's where practing more should come in handy.

I seriously cried for an hour last night thinking about the test. It was depressing. Then I lightened up while watching tv with my mom, and while I was taking a shower, I realized how to solve one of the problems! It was so frustrating, because the solution's so easy, I just couldn't come up with the formula during the test! And, of all the easiet formulas in the world, it was the acceleration formula. a=(Vf - Vi)/t

I guess I'm over it. I need to stop thinking so much about my grade. And study harder. I was thinking about what I did to survive stats last year, and I remembered I would always cram everything in the weekend before the test. I think that's a good strategy. It gives you the days up til the test to make sense of everything in your head, not just the few hours in the night before. So, because I have a math test Friday, I've spent all day on math. I'm not going to think about my grade (A- at the moment) during the test, I have to go in with a clear head and FIGURE STUFF OUT. (Another thing I couldn't do during my physics test.)

To change the subject, today's the first day of the SAT for this school year. I know a ton of people who are taking it. Agni, Becky, Taylor, and Hide, for starters, because they're seniors. I think Hide's taken it before, but he needs a higher score to make it to USC. Hope he did well. Talked to Kevin last night too, and he told me he was taking it today also. The convo was pretty funny, I totally didn't get what he was telling me at first, and I didn't even realize until after I signed off:
Kevin: i'm taking it
Me (had no idea what "it" was): physics? (yeah, I was really sad about my test)
Kevin: SAT
Me: the sat's not that bad, just painfully boring
Kevin: nothing serious is boring
Me (thinks about this for a moment): no...math is always boring. but that might be cuz of my own ineptitude
Kevin: lmao
*later*
Me: i gotta go to dinner
Kevin: have fun
Me: have fun at ivy tomorrow
Kevin: lol, i'm not going there tomorrow, i'm taking the sat
Me: oh, in that case, good luck!

Hmmm, now that I think about it, I probably sounded like a dork. I really must have been distracted with physics yesterday to not get what he was saying.

Thinking about the SAT makes me feel better. I know that sounds weird. But I have tons of good memories about it, and I seem to be remembering all the happy moments during class rather than the sad goodbyes more and more. Studying makes me feel more connected to Alice, Kevin, Hide, Diane, and Meng, and when I come across certain words or strategies, I can hear one of them in my head explaining the problem, helping me think through it.

I swear I'm not crazy. They're really there.